Nowadays, we live half our lives on our phones, which is why it’s becoming increasingly difficult to put our devices down. However, digital connectedness is bringing about profound changes in our psyche and our social relationships, explains the psychologist, who is also experiencing this firsthand as a family therapist in training.
According to Zsuzsanna Papp, it’s not a problem if the digital space coexists with the real world in our lives, however, one of the most striking effects of excessive digitalization is that we’re never truly present where we happen to be. So much so that there’s even a name for it when one person isn’t really paying attention to another – or even neglects them – because they’re so immersed in the online world: Tt’s called “phubbing” (formed from “phone” and “snubbing”). An extreme example would be someone who spends hours scrolling through pet videos while neglecting their own dog or cat. But a phone is often also a means of escaping conflicts, because sometimes it’s easier to stare at a screen than to face family problems.
Research suggests that families and couples who introduce designated phone-free periods are demonstrably happier. It’s therefore worth establishing “protected periods,” such as mealtimes or bedtime, when we physically put our phones away. This not only protects our relationships but also our health, explains Zsuzsanna Papp.
The expert highlights that traditional bans are usually ineffective; instead, she recommends that the family members work together to establish its own set of rules – for example, for school breaks or vacations. It is important that parents also adhere to these rules, since children are constantly competing with their devices for their parents’ attention. Parental control apps help keep children within these boundaries.
The psychologist says that the nervous system also has a tremendous need for a digital detox – that is, a conscious “check-out” – as it needs to rest after constant stimulation and dopamine addiction. One way to help with this is to set your smartphone to “vacation” or “weekend” mode and limit notifications.
The digital world offers instant gratification and alters our ability to delay reward, that is, our ability to wait for the outcome of something or to tolerate not receiving information immediately.
It is worth trying – at least while on vacation – not to reach for our phones every time we have a spare moment; instead, we can read a book, a newspaper, or do a crossword puzzle, or simply observe our surroundings.
The assistant professor at the Institute of Mental Health emphasizes that the goal is not to reject technology entirely, but to realize that it is merely a tool. If we are able to put down our phones from time to time and truly be present in our own lives, we reduce our anxiety levels and create opportunities for genuine, deep human connections. Because, yes, we were able to exist without it – and in fact, sometimes it is precisely without it that we can truly live.
Age categories offer essential information
It is crucial that parents specify not only how much time their children can spend in front of a screen, but also what they can watch and what games they can play in that time, points out Zsuzsanna Papp. Age ratings for movies and games are important because they take into account the characteristics of a given developmental stage, reducing the likelihood that a child will be exposed to content that they are not yet able to process appropriately. If a child regularly consumes content that is overstimulating and inappropriate for their age, it can disrupt the development of their nervous system, as well as their attention span and self-regulation skills.
Éva Haiman
Translation: Judit Dőtsch
Portrait by Bálint Barta – Semmelweis University; cover/illustration: iStock/Swittlana
